Consciously letting go of the things that we don't truly want or
need opens up the possibility of creating real places in our home and in our
lives for those things that are most life-giving and meaningful to us.
Organization requires planning, focus, commitment,
follow-through, prioritization, time management - need I go on? These are
some of the things we need to be able to do in order to deal with dis-organization.
Do you know
what dis-organization is?
It's that unsorted pile of junk mail, bills,
and "things that might be important" that are spilling off the
coffee table. It's those miscellaneous items that got shoved into the hall
closet the last time your Aunt visited. It could be paper, fabric, hardware,
electronic equipment, boxes, or plastic containers. It could be piled up,
spread out, or stuffed into grocery bags. If it's hanging around, getting in
your way, not quite in your life and not quite out of it, it's dis-organization.
It's not surprising that a lot of people with
ADHD have organization problems. Most Americans are at least a little
overwhelmed by the sheer volume of "stuff" flowing into the average
home. Staying on top of it requires some tolerance for dealing with
mundane tasks, an acceptance of the necessity of putting things away,
and some ability to prioritize and make decisions; not the most
common traits for people with ADHD. Add a dose of perfectionism or
rebelliousness, and organization can be even more daunting.
On the one hand, who cares? What's the big deal?
So what if you have some extra stuff floating around your house. It's not
like having cancer or being addicted to heroin. It seems like a funny
problem.
On the other hand, disorganization, in
its own insidious way, manages to keep a lot of people from fully doing
what's most important to them. It distracts us, makes us lose things, and
makes us late. It depresses and shames us. It complicates our already
overwhelmingly complex lives, and keeps us from having simple, beautiful
environments in which to live and work.
But deciding you want to organize your life,
and actually managing to do it are two very different things. When you sit
down with the good intention to clear that coffee table, at least a dozen
things will occur to you that are far more urgent, or at least more
interesting. If you do manage to clear it off, it's bound to be full two days
later. And when you finally get around to tackling the hall closet, you know
from past experience you'll end up with a couch heaped with coats because
halfway through, something will come up. So why bother?
It's worth bothering because your living and
working environments directly affect the quality of your life. But if you're
going to attempt to organize, it's important to set yourself up for success
instead of reinforcing past failures.
SOME
TIPS TO HELP WITH DIS-ORGANIZATION
1. Do it for the right
reasons.
If you start to organize because you think you "should"
or because someone else is shaming you into it, sooner or later your
rebellious side will sabotage the plan.
Wouldn't it be better to inspire
yourself? Won't your life be easier? What will you be able
to do that you can't do now?
Would we know what to do with the time, space
and energy that become available?
2. Be
specific about what you'd like to change.
It's not enough to say "I want to
deal with my organization problem." Be more specific. For
example: What room do I want to tackle? Which part? How do I want it to look
when I'm finished? If we make our requests too vague, they are too easy to
forget.
3. Focus
on one step at a time.
Make a plan and set short term goals. Choose
one area. Decide when you'll work on it and for how long, and schedule it on
your calendar. Decide what tools you'll need. Boxes? Labels? Markers? Post-it
notes? It may be useful to use a timer and make a deal with yourself not to
get caught up in another project until after it rings. Don't focus on how
much there is to do.
4.
Create systems and make real homes for things.
Appointment books, calendars, notebooks, to-do
lists and active files can help you keep track of daily activities. Having
real places for unpaid bills and invitations to events will make it far
more likely you'll actually find them again. Talk to others with and without
ADHD, about what works for them!
5.
Slowly build your tolerance for spaciousness.
One of the reasons the coffee table fills up
again so quickly is simply that you're used to seeing it that way. When you
walk by that nice clean surface your brain registers it as "empty"
and therefore, "a good place to put things". You will need to
slowly teach yourself that empty spaces have spaciousness, which you need
in your life, and that they don't necessarily have to be filled with things.
6. Get
support.
Two of the hardest things about confronting
your ability to organize is isolation and lack of structure. Basically, you
are your own boss, and that makes it doubly easy to get distracted. A coach
can make all the difference when you are facing work that is physically,
mentally, and emotionally challenging. He or she can help you take your goals
more seriously and break them down into bite-sized pieces, encourage you, help
problem-solve, and notice and delight in accomplishments, no matter what
their size.
7. Be
kind to yourself.
Because confronting your organizational
problem means dealing with things you've been avoiding, it unfortunately
provides endless opportunities for beating yourself up. Don't give in to that
temptation. Speak to yourself in gentle and encouraging words.
Remember, organizing is not about getting rid of everything. Nor is it about
hanging onto everything and getting it all neatly organized.
