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Excerpts from Managing Behaviour From the Inside OUT
Dogs, cats and kids – are they so different?
Humans are
complex creatures: much more complex than non-human creatures. One of the
major differences between us and our pet dog, snake, rabbit and the like
is in the control of our behaviour. For instance, how often have you seen
your dog consider the options when you give them something to eat? Do they
ponder whether to save a bit a for later in case they become hungry? Does
your cat listen to you when you tell him/her that eating that mouse might
not be good for their digestion? No, I didn’t think so. Now, on the other hand, when we give our young child a plate of cookies and tell them to save some for later, they will, right? No, I don’t think so. Now don’t get me wrong, I adore dogs but there are quite a few similarities when it comes to behaviour. So what do young children and dogs, etc. have in common? That’s right. Immediate gratification or in other words — I want it right now! From an evolutionary point of view, immediate gratification or eating the cookies immediately is smart. There is a possibility that if you don’t — someone (or something) else will!
An important factor in behavioural control is whether behaviour is externally, or internally, controlled.....
We can’t wait — so what? Any impairment in our ability to wait impacts all aspects of our life — socially, academically and behaviourally. For one thing difficulty with waiting impacts our working memory. That’s the memory we use if we need to recall things quickly. Our working memory is nothing more than a compilation of information from all of our senses, as if that’s some small feat! If we don’t stop and think something through, we don’t fully process the information and it doesn’t get fixed or stored to be later retrieved and used. So you might have difficulty recalling learned material, forget to do planned tasks or may mis-interpret directions. You ask a student to bring in something from home and when you ask the student the next day he/she responds, “You never asked me that!” Although they might have been looking at you when you asked them, their mind was already out in the street and didn’t process your information. You then get into a power struggle with them, possibly call them a liar and this starts a whole chain of unfortunate events.
Not waiting also impacts our ability to learn from our mistakes. In order not to repeat a mistake, we first need to stop and think about why we made the mistake and then develop a plan in order not to do the same thing again. If we consciously just say to ourselves “That won’t happen again” with going through the above process — we make the same mistake over and over again.
Not being able to wait also impacts many other aspects of our daily functioning including our:
Why we behave the way we do? When parents or teachers speak about a behaviour management or behaviour modification program, they are generally thinking about controlling the child or stopping him or her from performing certain inappropriate behaviours. A noble idea which too often fails since (1) they often don’t replace it with an appropriate behaviour, and (2) they often have no idea as to why the young person is acting in such a way to begin with. They have usually spent a great deal of time and energy trying to manage the child so that inappropriate behaviours will not occur. They may have succeeded in stopping certain behaviours by using either incentives or consequences much like making a dog salivate when a bell rings. However, they are usually frustrated because these inappropriate behaviours are not automatically replaced by appropriate behaviours. Parents and teachers get frustrated when they're "sure" that the child knows how to act appropriately, but doesn't. And, it's especially frustrating when the child insists that they were acting appropriately. But it makes sense to me that before we can say with any certainty that the child is being defiant or oppositional, we need to know why (or why isn't) the behaviour occurring. It doesn't matter if we're dealing with children or adults. Understanding the "why" behind the behaviour is particularly important for the individual who is impulsive, inattentive or whose behavioural control is still in the evolutionary mode. But there really a number of “whys” behind the behaviour...... Behavioural Control & Motivation Understanding behavioural control is essential if we are to motivate anyone. Since the motivation of many young people relies more on external sources of control rather than being internally self-motivated, incentives and consequences then play a major role in how they respond.....
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